The How-To Guide to Achieving Self-love and Acceptance

Who doesn’t love a good how-to guide? If you know me, you know this is right up my alley! After sitting down for my inspirational interview with Candace Molatore, a local Portland self-love advocate, I wanted to deconstruct our conversation into actionable steps anyone can follow. It’s important to know someone’s story and passions, but it’s also powerful to know how to apply their advice to your own life. Keep reading and I’ll share Candace’s tactical tips for achieving self-love and acceptance in real life.

For people who want to know “where do I even begin” what is your advice?

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Look at where you’re getting your influences from, and how they making you feel. For me, I found that my social media feed was making me feel poorly. It was full of super models, who had fine messages and beautiful images,, but made me myself badly at the end of the day. I recommend unfollowing anyone who doesn’t inspire you, or makes you feel less than you are. The information you’re fed throughout the day has a huge impact on your self worth.

Try to find and identify a skill you’re good at. I started by finding confidence in my job performance, and the more I felt good about the work I was creating, I actually did better! This can also have a snowball effect, once you feel more confident with one skill you start noticing all the other amazing gifts you have within you.

Learn how to find clothes that work for you, make you feel confident and that are made for your body type. I found shopping in malls to be discouraging. My pool of options were limited, and when you love fashion it’s no fun to have uninspiring options. I decided to devote time & effort to shopping online instead and found wonderful stores that cater to my body type. The search is admittedly time consuming, but worth it in the long run. Now I have a handful of amazing websites that I can go to, and know my size, fabric and styles that work for me, and am able to order with confidence. If you decide you want to explore online vendors, make sure you set aside time to do so. If you’re rushed and searching, you’ll walk away frustrated and empty handed. Go in with the right mindset and know there are beautiful options for all body types waiting for you.

What are steps anyone can take to increase their sense of self acceptance?

First of all, realize that acceptance can only come from within. You can’t turn to others, you have to turn inward. Spend time with yourself to learn who you are as a person. Identify who you really are by asking yourself the questions you’d ask someone you’re getting to know.

  • “What is most important to you?”

  • “What truly lights you up and brings you the most happiness?”

  • “What are you passionate about??

  • “What are your goals?”

Remember the importance of knowing your values and sticking to them. This will foster and grow your self-worth and acceptance.

What are your tips for prioritizing self-care in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives?

Try to make self-care achievable by having long term and short term goals. Long term being weekly & monthly goals, and short term being daily.

Weekly or monthly goals could include a spa treatment, dinner out with friends, trying a new workout, etc. These should be your most restful and restorative moments.

Daily goals should be simple and achievable even in your busy schedule. Here are a few of my go-to’s:

  • Take a bath

  • Spend time watching a favorite show

  • Put your phone on silent and truly disconnect

  • Read a book

  • Meditate

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I’ve incorporated meditation into my self-care ritual and find it very beneficial. I aim for 10 minutes before bed to disconnect and wind down from the day. I love an overall body scan meditation, where I spend time paying attention to how my body truly feels.

No matter what you choose to do for your self-care be sure it fills your cup and makes you happy. Self-care of any kind will leave you feeling better and improve productivity.

How do you encourage people to seek empowerment in their life?

You have to find acceptance of yourself in all ways. This can be really tough. We look in the mirror, and immediately focus on the features we aren’t happy with, and tear ourselves apart. I encourage people to really take time to look at themselves in the mirror: familiarize yourself with who you really are. One way is to explore different variations of my own body. What does my body look like at this angle? How does that change if I move, or look in a different direction? All this acceptance leads to more grace & understanding, and less criticism.

Here are some options to try for yourself:

  • Dance around the house

  • Move your body in any way that makes you happy

  • Experiment with positive mantras

I hope you’ve found these tips helpful, inspirational and attainable. I’d love to hear from you, how are you exploring self-love and what are ways you incorporate this practice into your daily life? Comment below and join in the conversation!